Exodus 4,5,6

4:13 "But Moses said, 'O Lord, please send someone else to do it.' "

The smokescreen is lifted. Prior to this statement, Moses volleyed every excuse he could think of to God to get him out of the task at hand. After God has countered every excuse, Moses gets to his real heart condition. He just plain doesn't want to go.

Do I ever make up reasons to not do God's will? "I'm busy... it's not my strength... I'm doing enough already... I've already tried it and failed..." In retrospect, it's very obvious that caroling this last year was God's will (http://outofthemiryclay.wordpress.com/2007/12/18/joy-to-the-neighborhood/). It was good for those who went and good for our neighbors. Most importantly, God's name was glorified all around. But I almost didn't do it. I was physically able, I had the time off from work, my (awesome) mom made up the caroling books. Here was the problem: I initiated this now yearly tradition of caroling and am very excited about it. Last year, when there wasn't enough of a turnout to allow us to go out, I was a bit... offended. I hope that doesn't bother people to read, but this is my personal journal, so I have to be honest.

So when this last Christmas came around, I considered all the positives that I mentioned above including a neighborhood that we hadn't been to yet, but what dominated my thoughts was "I don't want to." I was still offended that no one thought this was as important as I did and I almost didn't organize the caroling in spite.

Thankfully, Ryan convinced me to go ahead, we had plenty of folks and it was a great time. At the time that I changed my mind, I knew I was wrong, but I hadn't really reflected on the sinful attitude of bitterness I was harboring. Looks like I have something to talk to God about.

Lord, please forgive me for putting my sinful attitudes before Your will. Help me to submit myself fully to Your desires. Help me to not take pride in things that are ultimately worked out through Your power and will.